After a point, you cease to reach out to the world. Your
life seems to be confined inside yourself, your thoughts and your emotions.
Then suddenly in spurts you come in contact with the world, view it like an
observer, try to understand it -- and then give up to return to your paradigm.
The world is a beautiful place with trees, flowers and falling leaves. In the
midst of this you feel an emptiness. Aimlessness. You search for the meaning of
life only to have to be forced to create one. You reflect on what is really
important and if anything really is important. You create new plans, you create
things to look forward to... but your mind keeps reeling. It is so meaningless
after all? You feel like laughing out loud. You feel like mocking yourself. You
realize the absurdity of it all. Then you feel a calm engulf you. Your heart is
silent and so is your mind. They have nothing worthwhile to say.
